As a young girl Earlene was a three time state champion barrel-racer. She tamed and rode a wild-assed stud quarter horse called Lefty. There was no man who could get within ten feet of Lefty, but he was as sweet as Miss Fidelity's cherry pie with anyone of feminine persuasion.  The mayor convinced Earlene to compete in the first annual Miss Fork In the Road Beauty Contest in 1968, and after she won by a landslide she put ole Lefty out to pasture and never looked back. She was convinced with proper training and a good tan she could become Miss Oklahoma and have an opportunity to meet and seduce Bert Parks.

She started tanning in February that next year on a handmade bed of aluminum foil and chicken wire; using a special tanning concoction of Johnson's Baby Oil and Big Bert's Iodine. Her whole body swelled up with goose bumps the size of prairie gopher dung but she couldn't be stopped until a freak storm blew in and she was trapped out doors in her pink bikini and got frostbite on her eyelids. After that incident, she won a couple of local contests although her heart wasn't in it. But she had discovered her real calling as an installation artist working in the desert with found objects, iodine and foil. She is currently working on a series of reflective energy towers that will isolate the healing power of the sun and wind along the ley lines of ancient Indian trails; and she continues to search for the perfect tan.

 Aunt Bernie

"Figure Only"

$1500.00